if i died would you start the facebook group?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
