Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize