I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
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He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We just shotgunned beers for America
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
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Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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