It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
