He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I need to align my fucking chakras
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
