i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
