I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So many bounce houses so little time
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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