God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
