My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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