Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think people are normalizing furries
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
