i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
