Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize