Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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