two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
