i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
