just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
As shirtless as possible
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
