I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
