i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
