just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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