there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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