Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
