Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain

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  (925): You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain http://tfl.nu/anwf
  Replies (16) Good night (2802) Bad night (877)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?

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  (815): Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed? http://tfl.nu/op28
  Replies (29) Good night (899) Bad night (4531)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap

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  (505): sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap http://tfl.nu/vpaq
  Replies (14) Good night (1122) Bad night (4375)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him

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  (914): Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him http://tfl.nu/h9ln
  Replies (23) Good night (6226) Bad night (1799)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again

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  (248): The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again http://tfl.nu/1sak
  Replies (15) Good night (1262) Bad night (4916)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.

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  (404): We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning. http://tfl.nu/65kx
  Replies (4) Good night (3323) Bad night (931)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.

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  (734): The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake. http://tfl.nu/3nh1
  Replies (2) Good night (1225) Bad night (815)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.

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  (317): Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw. http://tfl.nu/a7sh
  Replies (18) Good night (891) Bad night (1088)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Seriously. Castrate.

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  (303): If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you (303): Seriously. Castrate. http://tfl.nu/qjql
  Replies (4) Good night (692) Bad night (938)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!

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  (719): My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck. (1-719): Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER! http://tfl.nu/1zbw
  Replies (1) Good night (1700) Bad night (424)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.

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  (503): I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress. http://tfl.nu/qmrb
  Replies (6) Good night (475) Bad night (1276)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.

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  (919): Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home. http://tfl.nu/lft8
  Replies (2) Good night (752) Bad night (325)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge

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  (610): we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge http://tfl.nu/izh2
  Replies (1) Good night (988) Bad night (449)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me

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  (+44): I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me http://tfl.nu/ggvm
  Replies (2) Good night (898) Bad night (296)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.

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  (732): Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole. http://tfl.nu/eueb
  Replies (6) Good night (576) Bad night (410)

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