we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..