Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating