don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."