Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
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Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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