Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.

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  (610): Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry. http://tfl.nu/7qgs
  Replies (38) Good night (5388) Bad night (795)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  we made out on top of his cat.

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  (503): we made out on top of his cat. http://tfl.nu/6lsk
  Replies (18) Good night (1397) Bad night (2885)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.

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  (225): Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation. http://tfl.nu/om4a
  Replies (9) Good night (2200) Bad night (1331)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.

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  (902): He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock. http://tfl.nu/ce76
  Replies (20) Good night (3112) Bad night (5171)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.

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  (780): I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop. http://tfl.nu/zx6t
  Replies (31) Good night (5602) Bad night (1084)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team

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  (978): i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team http://tfl.nu/fnfy
  Replies (24) Good night (1286) Bad night (4868)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id

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  (519): I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id http://tfl.nu/33hp
  Replies (5) Good night (2654) Bad night (1281)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.

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  (706): Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon. http://tfl.nu/nu6w
  Replies (18) Good night (1337) Bad night (1751)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.

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  (817): Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/91us
  Replies (7) Good night (829) Bad night (1914)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures

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  (416): But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures http://tfl.nu/emrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1558) Bad night (455)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable

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  (229): Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable http://tfl.nu/1o17
  Replies (1) Good night (613) Bad night (1068)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.

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  (917): Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am. http://tfl.nu/94x6
  Replies (2) Good night (1574) Bad night (769)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.

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  (952): He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy. http://tfl.nu/1isp
  Replies (5) Good night (1055) Bad night (633)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues

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  (787): come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues http://tfl.nu/x9jo
  Replies (0) Good night (551) Bad night (272)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.

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  (504): He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes. http://tfl.nu/za97
  Replies (0) Good night (282) Bad night (141)

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