this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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