A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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