Texts From Last Night

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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

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  (228): I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls. http://tfl.nu/frla
  Replies (7) Good night (1653) Bad night (881)
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  (631): View more from New York

  sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood

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  (631): sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood http://tfl.nu/dhuu
  Replies (113) Good night (1023) Bad night (6218)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..

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  (307): I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie.. http://tfl.nu/boas
  Replies (15) Good night (5108) Bad night (545)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?

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  (609): How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone? http://tfl.nu/ubfa
  Replies (5) Good night (2707) Bad night (994)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?

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  (302): do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships? http://tfl.nu/h1g6
  Replies (149) Good night (1685) Bad night (5918)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds

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  (630): We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds http://tfl.nu/p9wa
  Replies (26) Good night (11935) Bad night (1809)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.

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  (785): He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me. http://tfl.nu/3her
  Replies (11) Good night (636) Bad night (2262)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"

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  (401): Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life" http://tfl.nu/0dy4
  Replies (5) Good night (5263) Bad night (943)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?

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  (201): We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong? http://tfl.nu/lzrs
  Replies (13) Good night (2804) Bad night (756)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?

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  (781): At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot? http://tfl.nu/hn75
  Replies (7) Good night (2341) Bad night (942)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...

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  (803): He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not... http://tfl.nu/qcdb
  Replies (13) Good night (1655) Bad night (3006)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical

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  (250): We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical http://tfl.nu/vxcf
  Replies (8) Good night (1739) Bad night (387)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.

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  (740): I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state. http://tfl.nu/rhx6
  Replies (6) Good night (1440) Bad night (419)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.

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  (336): You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that. http://tfl.nu/r9t5
  Replies (7) Good night (541) Bad night (343)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.

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  (303): Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package. http://tfl.nu/50h2
  Replies (3) Good night (855) Bad night (332)

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