Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
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Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT