Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??

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(248) i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem?? http://tfl.nu/bwq7

Replies (14) Good night (3556) Bad night (1058)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.

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(517): I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher. http://tfl.nu/b9fx

Replies (6) Good night (564) Bad night (1534)
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(513): View more from Ohio

CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....

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(513): CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now.... http://tfl.nu/m585

Replies (36) Good night (867) Bad night (2809)
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(206): View more from Washington

he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.

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(206): he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina. http://tfl.nu/gr4l

Replies (39) Good night (798) Bad night (4979)
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(847): View more from Illinois

At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.

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(847): At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face. http://tfl.nu/zq8n

Replies (73) Good night (1194) Bad night (8039)
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(253): View more from Washington

she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie

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(253): she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie http://tfl.nu/dtyw

Replies (11) Good night (916) Bad night (3265)
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(251): View more from Alabama

2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary

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(251): 2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary http://tfl.nu/6uuf

Replies (8) Good night (959) Bad night (1618)
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(623): View more from Arizona

Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.

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(623): Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds. http://tfl.nu/ovdt

Replies (9) Good night (970) Bad night (4026)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.

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(616): I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady. http://tfl.nu/ufs6

Replies (3) Good night (1964) Bad night (653)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave

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(973): Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave http://tfl.nu/h612

Replies (16) Good night (1586) Bad night (553)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.

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(908): Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad. http://tfl.nu/akuu

Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (782)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.

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(336): You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens. http://tfl.nu/3z5p

Replies (6) Good night (1277) Bad night (347)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'

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(508): oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future' http://tfl.nu/w2au

Replies (8) Good night (589) Bad night (258)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese

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(503): I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese http://tfl.nu/zq39

Replies (1) Good night (346) Bad night (436)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level

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(919): I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level http://tfl.nu/r2br

Replies (2) Good night (445) Bad night (234)

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