Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize