Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we're making bets on your personal life
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
