Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
