if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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