do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
