two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
