tell your sister to shave her snatch
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize