shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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