Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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