Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
