I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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