absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
