I bet he comes in French.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
