I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
