Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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