we have officially mastered the walk of shame
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
