You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
