I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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