WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
