I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
