my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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