A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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