New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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