I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
