I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize