jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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