Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
