Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
