I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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