how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
