Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
