Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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