How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
