yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
