So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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