K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
